{"id":346,"date":"2024-04-03T17:05:18","date_gmt":"2024-04-03T17:05:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/silviamanduchi.com\/only-men-men-only-diversity-or-inclusion\/"},"modified":"2025-02-22T09:27:55","modified_gmt":"2025-02-22T09:27:55","slug":"only-men-men-only-diversity-or-inclusion","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/silviamanduchi.com\/en\/only-men-men-only-diversity-or-inclusion\/","title":{"rendered":"Only Men, Men Only: Diversity or Inclusion?"},"content":{"rendered":"

My inquiry into equality dates back a long time\u2014back when I envied my male friends because they got to do the fun stuff. I was taught to be gentle; they were taught to be strong. My perspective evolved significantly when I spent two years in France and when I watched my sister fight for female representation in the tech world. What once seemed impossible suddenly became possible\u2014but only after dismantling some deeply ingrained elements of the status quo within my own mental framework. Then, I tried to apply this perspective to my own field. And I discovered that this is, first and foremost, <\/span>individual work<\/b>\u2014but that leadership in this area also requires <\/span>time, collective effort, and a choral approach<\/b>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Let\u2019s start with a fact: since I began working, I have rarely sat at a table without being the only woman. And the higher up I went, the more frequent this became. When I entered the venture capital world\u2014an industry I expected to be innovative\u2014I found the <\/span>same old dynamics<\/b>. This resistance toward female presence, to me, reflects something much more <\/span>structural<\/b>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Some friends tell me, <\/span>\u201cDon\u2019t be a feminist,\u201d<\/span><\/i> or <\/span>\u201cJust be good at what you do\u2014that\u2019s enough.\u201d<\/span><\/i> Others, when I talk about this too much, say, <\/span>\u201cYou\u2019ve lost my attention now,\u201d<\/span><\/i> as if my goal were to <\/span>entertain them<\/b>. If only it were that simple\u2026 But I\u2019ve always been attentive to these reactions because I see them as <\/span>symptoms of something deeper<\/b>.<\/span><\/p>\n

In my own small way, I\u2019ve always made a point of addressing the <\/span>elephant in the room<\/b>, because I believe <\/span>awareness starts there<\/b>. Even now, when I find myself in all-male meetings or see pitch decks filled exclusively with male faces, I point it out. It may seem insignificant, but to me, it\u2019s not. In fact, it\u2019s one of the <\/span>few things we can and must do<\/b>\u2014finding the balance between <\/span>provocation and dialogue<\/b>.<\/span><\/p>\n

My issue isn\u2019t with the <\/span>tip<\/span><\/i> of the iceberg\u2014after all, there are successful women in every field. <\/span>My issue is with the iceberg itself.<\/b> And that\u2019s where inclusion comes in.<\/span><\/p>\n

Beyond Awareness: Actionable Solutions<\/b><\/p>\n

One possible solution is to <\/span>foster an alliance between men and women<\/b> and to support those who, in their own way, are making this happen\u2014often with great effort, starting from themselves. That\u2019s why I get frustrated when I see an <\/span>all-male<\/b> slide deck. I know that dialogue sometimes happens through <\/span>healthy conflict<\/b>, but perhaps this issue would be easier to tackle if <\/span>more men embraced it<\/b>\u2014not just as allies but as <\/span>active participants<\/b> in shaping an inclusive environment.<\/span><\/p>\n

I often ask my male colleagues in venture capital\u2014the ones who have swapped their suits for t-shirts\u2014<\/span>\u201cAre you actively working to include and understand the needs of women in this space?\u201d<\/span><\/i> To me, this is a <\/span>crucial question<\/b>, both individually and systemically. Because without this awareness, even if we had <\/span>all the female entrepreneurship grants in the world<\/b>, gender integration would still be an uphill battle.<\/span><\/p>\n

The second approach is to <\/span>rethink the concept of space and access<\/b>. That\u2019s why, after calling out all-male panels and presentations, I carefully <\/span>choose where to invest my time<\/b>. I recognize that <\/span>I, too, have agency<\/b>, and I can choose to go where <\/span>there\u2019s more space for me<\/b>, where my impact can be greater. When faced with different job opportunities, I always choose the one where I am given more room to grow. Isn\u2019t that what everyone does? In the U.S., they say <\/span>\u201cvote with your money.\u201d<\/span><\/i> Here, I\u2019d say, <\/span>\u201cvote with your time.\u201d<\/span><\/i> And <\/span>time is a finite resource<\/b>\u2014even more so for women, given the still <\/span>unequal<\/b> burden of domestic and family labor.<\/span><\/p>\n

The Real Question: Can We Accept Vulnerability?<\/b><\/p>\n

At the end of the day, <\/span>this is a long game<\/b>. It requires us to <\/span>rethink structures that have shaped our society for centuries<\/b>. Simone de Beauvoir once wrote, <\/span>\u201cNo one is more hostile to women than a man anxious about his masculinity,\u201d<\/span><\/i> because masculinity is <\/span>\u201ca fragile social construct.\u201d<\/span><\/i> Perhaps no one is more hostile to men than a woman who cannot come to terms with the <\/span>perceived impossibility of changing these ingrained biases<\/b>.<\/span><\/p>\n

And that\u2019s my only real fear: not <\/span>becoming difficult<\/b>\u2014I\u2019m already excellent at that! But rather, that we will fail to <\/span>understand each other\u2019s differences<\/b>, that we will refuse to <\/span>embrace change<\/b>, or worse, that we will fail to <\/span>even recognize it<\/b> when it happens.<\/span><\/p>\n

If I get angry, it\u2019s only when I <\/span>don\u2019t see enough space for dialogue<\/b>.<\/span><\/p>\n

So the real question is: <\/span>Can we learn to accept male vulnerability as much as we do female vulnerability\u2014and vice versa?<\/b><\/p>\n

I believe that <\/span>keeping an open posture, expressing doubts and asking questions, rather than imposing rigid answers, is a stance worth considering<\/b>. My mother always told me, <\/span>\u201cYou do what you can.\u201d<\/span><\/i> But now, having crossed the <\/span>huge<\/span><\/i> milestone of turning 30 (which once seemed as daunting as the <\/span>social elephant<\/b> I just described), I\u2019d rephrase it:<\/span><\/p>\n

You do everything you can, in line with what you believe in.<\/b><\/p>\n

And maybe, just maybe, that\u2019s where real change begins.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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