I recently came across a piece in Les Echos that perfectly aligns with an article whose title often pops into my mind whenever I encounter less-than-reputable people in leadership positions. And let’s be honest—that happens to everyone.
The article I’m referring to is “The Biggest Threat to an Organization During the Information Age: Narcissistic Leaders” by H. Friedman, while Les Echos states:“In large corporations, you might have come across some cunning colleagues, tyrannical bosses, or even sociopathic managers. But in a startup, if you ever cross paths with a co(n)founder (or as we might say, a co-**-founder), you’ll remember it for life! Especially if their ego is the size of… a parachute.” [1]
I found this line absolutely hilarious.
The core idea is simple: pay attention. Pay attention to relationships. Founders must be people who know how to listen and actively engage with others, as they play a crucial role in shaping the foundational rules of their startup. If they have a strong, virtuous personality, it will be evident in the years to come. But if they have unresolved personality issues… well, that will be just as evident! So, what’s the difference? There are a few red flags I personally find useful. For example, if a startup is already experiencing friction with suppliers or partners from the get-go, that might be an early warning sign for anyone looking to engage—whether as an employee or an investor. Another factor? Gut feeling. If you naturally click with someone without having to overanalyze the mutual benefits of working together, maybe that’s a non-sign. Malcolm Gladwell discusses this in his book Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking.
Of course, we also need to acknowledge that founders are in a constant learning process and under significant stress—two factors that sometimes push them to act without full control over the situation, often influenced by the broader social and business context. But that doesn’t change the fact that no one wants to deal with a co-****-founder, making empathy a fundamental ingredient in the mix.
So, if at any point you’ve found yourself slipping into this category, do your future collaborators a favor and read Emotional Intelligence[2]. (And allow me the honor of using the masculine form here—because we’re still searching for female founders, and if Whitney Wolfe Herd’s story at Bumble has taught us anything, it’s that women often build in response to exactly this kind of con-founder behavior. But, of course, I won’t deny that a female co-****-founder could exist too.)
Beyond the extreme cases described in this article, there’s everything else to consider. Relationships can improve over time through open communication and a shared approach to analyzing reality. Chances are, you’ll find yourself in this situation. So the goal is to embark on the journey of communication, wherever you stand among the stakeholders of this complex relationship called a startup!
Wishing you the best of luck in your quest for a more virtuous way of managing relationships in your startup! 🚀
[2] Emotional Intelligence è un libro di grande successo sul tema dell’empatia nell’ambiente di lavoro di Daniel Goleman
